Are You Worth It? aka Seberapa Pantas
by dEeYaN
Summary: Seberapa Pantas-Sango's musings about a perverted houshi. She felt like she had been cursed to care for him kindda. Sango x Miroku pairing one-shot. Songfic of some sort except no one would know what the song is. R and R!!!


A/N: okay, I hadn't been able too sleep lately. Coz one of the girls in my dorm HAD to speak to her friend every night on the phone. The fact that she's speaking in another language and going on until like 1 am doesn't help me sleep (not forgetting the fact that I'm insomniac). Anyways, the point is that I had to listen to songs (really loudly too) and I kindda start getting weird ideas for a songfic. Oh, yeah… You guys (and girls) wouldn't know what song it is coz… it's Indonesian ^_^ I can't help it!!! It's SO Sango-Miroku. Don't worry, tho, I'll try my best to translate it! Hope you like it and review!!

Disclaimer: one of the things that I think about when I can't sleep is about what should happen in Inuyasha. You still think I own it?

Guide kindda…  
Words in _italics_ : song lyric in Indonesian ie. Original lyric.  
Words in **_bold italics_** : my attempt in translating the song  
Regular words are just what's going on…

Okay, enough of that, on with the fic, song-fic, whatever…

**Are You Worth It? Or How Good Are You? (a.k.a. Seberapa Pantas)**  
By: dEeYaN

It's a really hot day and the Shikon hunters had already battled (and won) two quite tough youkais in a day and no Shikon shards did they have, so Inuyasha was quite pissed by the end of it. A pissed Inuyasha equals an extremely rude Inuyasha, which again equals a pissed Kagome. 

Soon, they had started arguing (again). This time it was about Kagome failing some 'high-school', which Sango interpreted as a kind of training place from Kagome's explanation. 

'Since it's called high-school, it must been on a hill of some sort, Sango decided inwardly.

Sango soon became bored of petting Kirara, while listening to the husband-and-wife fight and started wondering where a certain perverted monk had gone. Miroku had gone ahead to find a place to lodge for the night, while Shippo had already fallen asleep on Kirara's back, despite the yelling and banging (you know what happens when Kagome says THE magic word).

_Seberapa pantaskah kau untuk kutunggu?  
**Are you worth waiting for?**_

"Why isn't he back yet?" Sango asked Kirara, getting worried, "either he's hooking up with another girl or he just got kicked out because of his pervertness," either way Sango isn't happy about it and she was determined to show him, once he returns.

_Cukup indahkah dirimu untuk slalu kunantikan?  
**Are you that good (beautiful) for me to wait for you always?**_

"Why should I care, anyway?" Sango again asked the patient Kirara, "it's not like he's anything to me. He's just a companion to reach the same goal, he's no different than Inuyasha or Kagome, right Kirara?"

_Mampukah kau hadir dalam setiap mimpi burukku?  
**Can you be there in my every nightmare?**_

"And he's perverted too! He would never let anyone to be close to him anyway, especially me. Why would he care about me when there are so many others he could have? And I don't want to be hurt again, not anymore. I've lost enough already."

_Mampukah kita bertahan disaat kita jauh?  
**Will we be able to survive when we're apart?**_

"It's so apparent that he doesn't care about me, so why should I care?" the only answer she got was a nuzzle and a purr from Kirara.

_Seberapa hebat kau untuk ku banggakan?  
**How good are you for me to be proud of?**_

"Why would I care about someone as perverted as him anyway? I always wanted someone who would care for me, someone who would love me for who I am, someone who would be proud of me. Not someone who cares for me just because I am a girl!!" Inuyasha and Kagome stopped fighting and sweatdropped hearing Sango screaming for no apparent reason.

"Err.. never mind me, you guys go on," Inuyasha and Kagome started all over again once Sango had given her permission for them too fight. Sango sweatdropped and sighed.

_Cukup tangguhkah dirimu untuk slalu ku andalkan?  
**Are you strong enough for me to count on?(always)**_

"I can take care of myself anyways, who needs a husba- what am I thinking???"

_Mampukah kau bertahan dengan hidupku yang malang?  
**Can you endure my sad life?**_

"Anyway, husband or no husband, no one would ever understand me. Who would understand what I had gone through? What I had lost…" Sango's expression saddened when she remembered her family.

_Sanggupkah kau meyakinkan disaat aku bimbang?  
**Can you convince me when I'm uncertain?**_

"What should I do? I really don't know… My goal right now is to defeat Naraku… and then? After I have my revenge, there would be no reason for me to live. No one would be waiting for me, no one at all. Except you, of course, Kirara," Sango added when Kirara let out a protest (in form of meowing of course).

_Celakanya…  
**But too bad… (more like damn sortta)  
**Hanya kaulah yang benar-benar aku tunggu, hanya kaulah yang benar-benar memahamiku..  
**You're the only one who I'm really waiting for, you're the only one who really understands me**  
Kau pergi dan hilang kemanapun kau suka...  
**You go away and disappear wherever you want…**_

"Well, I see the husband-wife fight had started again," Sango captured in her thoughts didn't realise the houshi's appearance until she felt an uninvited hand on her rear. 

"HENTAI!!" goodbye to the houshi, thanks to a certain giant boomerang and a couple of knives here and there.

"Kagome! Inuyasha!" Sango tried to get her voice heard over the racket.

"OSUWARI!" the magic word said, Kagome at last acknowledged Sango's existence, "what?" she snapped still irritated.

"Erm…" Sango hesitated and started retreating from the look Kagome was giving her, "I- I didn't mean to interrupt, but H-Houshi-sama has found us a place to stay tonight, in the village…"

"Good! I'm sick of sleeping outside, you never know what would fall of the tree," Kagome cast a dirty look at Inuyasha's form, that is deep down in a crater created by his own weight by now.

"Let's go!" Kagome pulled Sango's wrist towards the village and shelter.

"Hang on, I forgot my backpack!" Sango was dragged all the way back and while Kagome was trying to heave up her enormously gigantic backpack (I know that didn't make sense, but I just like the sound of it), Sango noticed the houshi still on the ground with swirly eyes.

Suddenly, he opened his eyed, surprising Sango. Her heart skipping a beat, she blushed deeply, "Damn! I can't help worrying about him! What's wrong with me?"

_Celakanya…  
**But too bad (or Damn it)**  
Hanya kaulah yang pantas untuk ku banggakan, hanya kaulah yang sanggup untuk aku andalkan..   
diantara pedih aku slalu menantimu  
**You're the only one that I can ever be proud of, you're the only one that I can count on…  
In poignancy I'm always waiting for you**_

The group found themselves in the mansion of the lord of the village. The others couldn't be but amazed once more by the houshi's ability, though not one to be proud of. 

"How on earth did you get us here?" Kagome asked looking at the beautiful mansion in front of them.

"Well, there was some evil aura around the mansion. So, I felt it was my duty to ward it off. I didn't expect anything in return," Miroku pretended not to hear the snorts, "but the Lord insisted. Seeing that we do indeed need a place to stay tonight, I accepted his offer."

"Yeah, whatever…" Inuyasha at once claimed the tree just outside the room.

"I'm so tired," Kagome said stifling a yawn, " I'm going to bed early tonight. Good night, everyone…"

Sango couldn't sleep… again… She always had been amnesiac as long as she remembered. She recalled her father telling her how she never stopped crying when she was a baby. And yet it had been ever harder to fall asleep since her village's destruction. Since all she had hold dear in her life been snatched away from her.

Sango kicked her blankets away and sat up on her futon. She glanced at Kagome sleeping peacefully on the other side of the room with Shippo in her arms. She envied her friend's sleep. Even when she was able to get some rest, nightmares would not leave her alone. Images that she'd rather forget kept on haunting her.

"I don't think I would be able to sleep at all tonight. I'll just go outside, it's too hot in here," Sango decided.

The cool wind calmed Sango. She stood there in the doorway for awhile, just letting the wind play with her long tresses. Opening her eyes, she spotted the stars in the sky. The clear summer sky was at its best that night, the stars aplenty and bright.

Silently, Sango climbed up the roof of the mansion. (Don't ask me how, she just did, k?). As she set there on the rooftop, with the wind caressing her hair, Sango's heart was put in peace. 

She remembered the old days when she would sit on the roof, her own roof at home at night just like this whenever she couldn't sleep. The similarity soothed her pain for the time being. 

_Seberapa hebat kau untuk ku banggakan?  
**How good are you for me to be proud of?**_  
_Cukup tangguhkah dirimu untuk slalu ku andalkan?  
**Are you strong enough for me to count on?(always)**_  
_Mampukah kau bertahan dengan hidupku yang malang?  
**Can you endure my sad life?**_  
_Sanggupkah kau meyakinkan disaat aku bimbang?  
**Can you convince me when I'm uncertain?**_

Suddenly she remembered her musings earlier that day about a certain monk, a perverted one too. 

(Okay, it's getting hard to use 2nd person POV, so from now on it would be Sango's POV)

Why did I even think about him? Why did I even waste my time on him? It's really weird, though. Even if I hate his pervert ness, even though I hate him groping me… I can't help feeling happy at the same time. I guess when he does it, it kindda make forget my sadness for awhile.

But, why? Why would that make him any different? I feel the same with the others as well, but with him… it's different and yet the same at the same time… What's wrong with me? I don't know what to do, I don't know what to feel…

"Sango, are you up there?" his voice nearly gave me a heart attack.

"Y-yes," damn it! Why am I blushing???

(back to narrator's POV)

"Hi!" Miroku said when he got up at last with so much unnecessary difficulty in Sango's opinion.

"Hi…" she answered uncertainly, "why are you still awake?"

"How about yourself?" he answered conveniently placing himself next to her.

"I asked first and don't you dare try anything. Being on the roof only means that I can throw you of it so you better not ask for it!" Sango quickly stated the rules before it was too late.

"I get it, don't worry, Sango. I wouldn't try anything," he chuckled in amusement, "so what are you doing on the roof in the middle of the night?"

"Couldn't slee- Hey, not fair! I asked you first!!"

"Okay, okay. I heard you going out and since I couldn't sleep either, I followed you. Does that explain everything?" he asked, his violet eyes did not-could not hide it's concern for her.

"Oh, yeah. The world is SO much clearer now, houshi-sama. Thanks for explaining," Sango answered sarcastically.

The houshi just chuckled some more that Sango started thinking that maybe the houshi was a bit disturbed in mind after all. Not that it helps explaining his lecherous behaviour!

"So, why are you on the roof?" the houshi asked once he got sick of chuckling.

"Well, it was such a beautiful night and I had always sat up on the roof when I couldn't sleep back at home. I'm a born insomniac and I never realised how much I miss those nights of sitting by myself on the roof with the wind on my face. The only sound around is the wind, the crickets and… and father's snores," Sango buried her face in her knees.

"Sango…" Miroku wasn't sure what to say to that, so he just said her name: a) just in case she thought he wasn't listening b) because he likes saying her name.

"I'm okay, houshi-sama. Don't worry, I'll get over it… someday…" Sango tried to smile but failed miserably so instead she hided her head back into the circle of her arms.

"It's okay to cry, you know, Sango," Miroku said without thinking.

"I-I don't like people seeing me cry," Sango's muffled answer tore Miroku's heart out.

"Well, I'll just go then. It's better to cry than to leave it bottled up," the houshi stood up and started to walk towards the end of the roof with much caution. Sango looked up from her lap, tears already started streaming down her cheeks.

_Mungkin kini kau tlah menghilang tanpa jejak, mengubur semua indah kenangan  
**Maybe now you have disappeared without trace, burying all happy memories**  
Tapi aku slalu menunggumu disini bila saja kau berubah pikiran  
**But I will always be waiting here if you'll only change your mind**_

Sango stared at the houshi's hesitating back. She never did like anyone to see her cry. She was the 'tough' girl, the oldest in her family and since her mother's death she had became the lady of the family. She could even beat up the guys in her village. Since the age of 13, she was already one of the best fighters in the village.

But now, seeing the houshi going away… She didn't want him to go. He wanted him to stay. It was the weirdest feeling, she wouldn't even cry in front of Kagome if she could help it. People would only pity you when you are crying. She never wanted any pity.

_Celakanya…  
**But too bad… (more like damn sortta)  
**Hanya kaulah yang benar-benar aku tunggu, hanya kaulah yang benar-benar memahamiku..  
**You're the only one who I'm really waiting for, you're the only one who really understands me**  
Kau pergi dan hilang kemanapun kau suka...  
**You go away and disappear wherever you want…**_

"Wait!" Sango surprised even herself.

"Yes?" Miroku looked back in hope that Sango would tell him the safest way of getting down the roof.

"I- can you please stay here for awhile? I-if you're not busy that is…" Sango cursed the blush that had started creeping up her cheeks while tears were still making their way out of her eyes. Sango felt wretched and regretted at once her foolish (according to Sango that is) request.

"Of course, Sango, of course," surprised Sango looked up and met his eyes. There was no pity in those eyes, none at all. Only understanding. This only made Sango cry even harder, being understood at last. No one had ever really understood her before. She had known Miroku only for a while and yet she felt like he understood her perfectly.

_Celakanya…  
**But too bad (or Damn it)**  
Hanya kaulah yang pantas untuk ku banggakan, hanya kaulah yang sanggup untuk aku andalkan..   
diantara pedih aku slalu menantimu  
**You're the only one that I can ever be proud of, you're the only one that I can count on…  
In poignancy I'm always waiting for you**_

Sango nearly had a heart attack when she felt strong arms taking her in embrace.

"I can't see you crying," Miroku whispered into Sango's ears making her laugh and cry at the same time.

"Baka!" she answered between her sobs.

It was the weirdest feeling Sango had ever felt in her 16 years of living. Her heart cried for the loss of her family and village, for everything she would have had if only fate hadn't been so cruel and yet she did not regret it. Maybe a bit, but being here in his arms, she felt like everything was worth it. All the pain and suffering she had gone through had at last shown its meaning. Giving her hope to be happy.

What that feeling was, Sango wouldn't even dare to give name, lest she should be mistaken or even if it wasn't enough to express her strong emotions. She never thought she would ever be happy just because of small things that a person done, small things that the other person would never even remember doing. She never thought that she would ever even have this kind of feelings even though she had dreamt of it. She never thought that she would be waiting for someone when she was down, she had always preferred solitary as first choice.

No, she never had even thought about it and yet it has came true. If it was only the Sango a few months ago, she would have been disgusted and yet here she was crying her heart out in the robes of a monk, a perverted one too. And it felt right, more right than anything else in her life. Was it fate? Was it destiny?

Maybe it is true after all that humans are nothing more than pions in a chess game played by something greater than them. Who used them merely for their own contentment and entertainment, not caring one bit about their feelings.

Maybe, or maybe not. But one thing is certain that it is curious that two most unlikeable people would need each other as much. The balance of need is so equal, so pure. One not more than the other…

The End!!!!!

A/N: Okay, I'm finished!! It must be really weird, ne? I'll read it over if only I have time, but they're gonna close this computer room soon and I gotta go. I might read it over tomorrow, if I have time (got Geography exam on Tuesday!! *shudder*). Anyways, I hope you liked it and please please PLEASE REVIEW!! I'm not confident at all with my writing and I really need feedback… *puppy-dogs eyes*  
I should continue my other fic, xcept I only got 2 half-heartly review (not that I don't appreciate them) and I just have no energy to continue… So please make me happy and REVIEW, see that button down there on the left? Just klik on it and write a sentence or two, flames are received with open hands, I need some warmth in this ice-cold boarding house…

Thanks for reading till the end!!!


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